Birthdays suck

So, I'm 32 today. For some reason, when I used to envision where I'd be at 32, divorced with children, living in my parents' house, on food stamps, wasn't where I envisioned myself. I always pictured the happily married with children, a home, a boat and a camper in the front drive. Nothing extravagant. Modest. But, enough. I'm so far from that. Here I am starting over completely. Makes it hard sometimes not to just go back to Rich. At least I know what I've got that way, no uncertainty. I feel so incredibly depressed. I just wish this birthday would just pass me by. Can't I re-do 31?