Lonely

You know, I've never really been totally alone. I moved out of my parents' house into a dorm, then moved in with a boyfriend. We split up and I lived "alone" for 3 months, but I had met Rich pretty quickly and spent most of my time at his place. Then, Rich and I stopped seeing each other for a while, but I moved and had another roommate. Then Rich and I got back together, got a place together, and it's been that way ever since.

Now, I'm alone. The kids are here, but I'm alone. And I'm lonely.

I am enrolling Christopher in swim lessons starting next Saturday, and that will give me something there, and I'm sure when school starts, I'll probably immerse myself in doing stuff with the school and all that.

But, I'm just so, so lonely right now. I can't really scrapbook, which I KNOW would really take my mind off things, because I don't have the room, and taking it all out for a couple hours of scrapping, then having to put it all up again, is just too daunting. I know I need to find a happiness within myself, but for the life of me, I don't know how to live alone and not have somebody. I'm not sure I WANT to know how.