Mom's surgery went very well. They kept her overnight tonight, she should come home tomorrow. I am hoping after all of this, she'll feel better and more energetic. Aunt Dean being here will be helpful I think because she is tryign to get my mother to look into anti-anxiety meds, something other than freakin' valium. My mother is dead inside, and she really needs something to liven her up.
Me, I'm taking painkillers every day now. Things hurt all over. Why do I have to hurt constantly?? Am I being punished?!
I will be going to church on Sunday. I'm excited, but nervous. I'm going back to Westlink. I think I'll get back into it but I just need to force myself to go and face up to the fact that I've neglected God. God understands. I just want to go talk to Gary, the preacher, and I dunno-maybe I could get some counseling from him/them.
I miss my relationship with God, but I sure feel better as I read my Bible each night. I feel closer to Him, I find myself not even wanting to cuss and do crap like that as much. I find my moods a little more stable, although I am still feeling down and hopeless, but that's chemical in my brain, not really emotional.
I'm looking forward to Christmas. Rich has promised me a good one this year. I can't wait to get up on Christmas morning!! Especially if he keeps his promise!
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